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| Violence against women |
Points:
- The Qur’an permits men to strike their wives.
- Muhammad (SAW) once hit his wife-Aisha.
- Islam commands the stoning of women for adultery.
- Islam supports honour killings.
REFUTATION
Before anything else, it has to be made clear that Muhammad (SAW) never beat any woman in his lifetime. It also has to be stated that guided corporal punishment is allowed in Islam hence, rebellious individuals can be corrected by physical means.
A. The verse of the Qur’an that legitimized the physical correction of wives clearly spelt out the fact that ‘striking’ should be the last resort.
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance - [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand. Suratul Nisa (4:34)
The verse said “admonish them”. Show them every reason scripturally, rationally-if need be-intellectually as to why they are wrong. Only a person with an evil heart will refuse to take heed after listening to reasons from all angles (including scriptures) exposing their guilt.
“Forsake them in bed”. Make them face sanctions that will compel them to rescind. Islamic scholars say these sanctions could take different forms: suspending any form of geniality towards them, suspend gifts, boycott of meals and so on. It should be noted that the execution of the first and second measures will take days.
“Finally, strike them”. This is the bone of contention. Muslims are never left to do things however we wish, we are guided by the examples of Muhammad (SAW). How should this striking be done?
i. Muhammad (SAW) prohibited men from hitting their wives on the face.
It was reported by Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri that he asked the Messenger of Allah (SAW), “What is the right of the wife of one of us over him? He replied: “That you should give her food when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not strike her on the face, do not revile her or separate yourself from her except in the house”. By default, women married to Islamic husbands never get black-eyes, broken teeth or fractured jaws resulting from striking by their husbands.
ii. Brutal beating of wives is never allowed.
Narrated Abdullah bin Zam'a: Muhammad (SAW) said, "None of you should flog his wife as he flogs a slave and then have sexual intercourse with her in the last part of the day". For people who might take this hadith to mean Islam supports slavery, read misconception 8 in this blog. This hadith also shows that a man should not insist on having marital relations with his wife when she is still in anger after being punished. Consequently, the claim that Islam supports marital rape is highly mendacious.
iii. The beating must never inflict injuries beyond the skin.
Abdullah Ibn Abbas was asked, what is the kind of hitting that is not harsh? He said, Hitting with a siwak and the like. (A siwak is a small stick or twig used for cleaning the teeth).
Muhammad (SAW) once dissolved a marriage in which a woman was badly injured by her husband.
Ar-Rubayyi bint Mu'awwidh bin Afra narrated that Thabit bin Qais hit his wife and broke her arm; her name was Jamilah bint Abdullah bin Ubayy.
Her brother came to the Messenger of Allah (SAW) to complain about him, and the Messenger of Allah sent for Thabit and said: "Take what she owes you and let her go." And the Messenger of Allah ordered her to wait for one menstrual cycle and then go to her family.
Some might call this unfair; ‘why did the woman have to return a property given to her for the marriage to be dissolved?’ The woman’s husband, Thabit ibn Qais, was known to be a righteous man among the companions of Muhammad (SAW) (search for Thabit bin Qais on this blog) and he showed remorse for what had happened. It was also clear that he did not break her arm on purpose and was still in love with her. The fact that he gave his wife a whole garden as a gift is also indicative of the love he had for her. In Islam, people are not held accountable for things they have done without intension. Muhammad (SAW) said, “Truly Allah has for my sake pardoned the mistakes and forgetfulness of my community, and for what they have done under force or duress.” It is also found in western law that the spouse seeking a divorce is the one that pays compensation.
It was also reported that Aisha (RA) said, a lady came wearing a green veil and complained to her (Aisha) of her husband and showed her a green spot on her skin caused by beating. It was the habit of ladies to support each other, so when Allah's Apostle came, Aisha said, "I have not seen any woman suffering as much as the believing women. Look! Her skin is greener than her clothes!" When Abdur-Rahman heard that his wife had gone to the Prophet (SAW), he came with his two sons from another wife. She said, "By Allah! I have done no wrong to him but he is impotent and is as useless to me as this," holding and showing the fringe of her garment, Abdur-Rahman said, "By Allah, O Allah's Apostle! She has told a lie! I am very strong and can satisfy her but she is disobedient and wants to go back to Rifa'a." Allah's Apostle said to her, "If that is your intention, then know that it is unlawful for you to remarry Rifa'a unless Abdur-Rahman has had sexual intercourse with you." Then the Prophet saw two boys with Abdur-Rahman and asked (him), "Are these your sons?" On that Abdur-Rahman said, "Yes." The Prophet said, "You claim what you claim (i.e. that he is impotent)? But by Allah, these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow".
This statement of the Prophet (SAW), “these boys resemble him as a crow resembles a crow” is a clear indication that Muhammad (SAW) hated the man’s actions.
Muhammad (SAW) also dissolved that marriage. The fact that the battered women in the incidences narrated reported their ordeals to Muhammad (SAW) is an indication that they knew Muhammad (SAW) did not approve of wife battery.
Despite the verse under question being present in the Qur’an, Muhammad (SAW) never approved of wife battery. Abu Bakr bin Abu Jahm Al-Adawi reported, "I heard Fathima bint Qais say: 'The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said to me: "When you become lawful, tell me." So I told him.' Then Muawiyah, Abu Jahm bin Sukhair and Usamah bin Zaid proposed marriage to her.
The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: "As for Muawiyah, he is a poor man who has no money. As from Abu Jahm he is a man who habitually beats women. But Usamah (is good)". She gestured with her hand, saying: "Usamah, Usaman!?" The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said to her: "Obedience to Allah and obedience to His Messenger is better for you". She said: "So I married him (Usamah) and I was pleased with him."
Here we see that Muhammad (SAW) told a woman not to marry a particular man because he was known to be a wife batterer. How then can it be said that Islam encourages wife battery?
B. Muhammad (SAW) once hit his wife, Aisha.
This is usually taken from this narration:
Muhammad b. Qais said to the people: Should I not narrate to you on my authority and on the authority of my mother (Aisha)? He then reported that it was 'A'isha who had narrated this: Should I not narrate to you about myself and about the Messenger of Allah (SAW)? We said: Yes. She said: When it was my turn for Allah's Messenger (SAW) to spend the night with me, he turned his side, put on his mantle and took off his shoes and placed them near his feet, and spread the corner of his shawl on his bed and then lay down till he thought that I had gone to sleep. He took hold of his mantle slowly and put on the shoes slowly, and opened the door and went out and then closed it lightly. I covered my head, put on my veil and tightened my waist wrapper, and then went out following his steps till he reached Baqi'. He stood there and he stood for a long time. He then lifted his hands three times, and then returned and I also returned. He hastened his steps and I also hastened my steps. He ran and I too ran. He came (to the house) and I also came (to the house). I, however, preceded him and I entered (the house), and as I lay down in the bed, he (the Holy Prophet) entered the (house), and said: Why is it, O 'A'isha, that you are out of breath? I said: There is nothing. He said: Tell me or the Subtle and the Aware would inform me. I said: Messenger of Allah, may my father and mother be ransom for you, and then I told him (the whole story). He said: Was it the darkness (of your shadow) that I saw in front of me? I said: Yes. He gave me a nudge on the chest which I felt, and then said: Did you think that Allah and His Apostle would deal unjustly with you?...
The question has to be asked, does a man hitting his wife once in their twelve-year marriage qualify him to be described as being violent towards women? Analyzing this hadith, we see that Muhammad (SAW) acted out of reflex and for a very justifiable reason. Suspecting a Prophet of unfair dealings was grave indeed. However, it was not the only incident in which Muhammad (SAW) hit someone out of reflex.
It was reported that Muhammad (SAW) was straightening the lines of the ranks (in the battle of Badr) as if he was straightening the lines for prayer and he was holding an arrow in his hands. He came up to one of the soldiers, Sawad bin Ghuazzaiyya, who was protruding a bit from the line. So the Prophet (SAW) slightly nudged him back with his arrow. Sawad said, “Oh Rasool Allah you have hurt me, I want to retaliate.” The Prophet (SAW) exposed his stomach to Sawad and said “Go ahead and retaliate”. So Sawad hugged the Prophet (SAW) and he kisses his stomach. The Prophet (SAW) asked Sawad why he did that? Sawad (ra) said, “Oh Messenger of Allah, you can see what is about to happen. I wanted my last contact with you to be my skin touching yours.”
Perhaps with this incident some people might also assert that Islam supports violence against soldiers.
C. Islam commands the stoning of women for adultery.
Some people bring up this allegation whenever they run out of points against Islam. Making this assertion also confirms steep ignorance in Islam's penal code. The first Muslim who was stoned to death for adultery was a man named Maiz ibn Malik.
Buraida narrated: Ma’iz Ibn Malik Al Aslami went to see the Messenger of Allah (SAW) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, indeed, I’ve violated myself, because I’ve committed adultery, therefore, I’d like you to purify me.” But he (Muhammad) rejected his confession. The next day, he (Ma’iz) came again and said, “O Messenger of Allah, truly, I’ve committed adultery.” But he (Muhammad) still rejected his confession for the second time. Then the Messenger of Allah (SAW) delegated someone to see his people and said, “Do you know if there’s something wrong with Ma’iz’s mind, that you deny?” They replied, “We are not sure if Ma’iz is having a disturbed mind, as far as we know, he is a decent and sane man.” For the third time, Ma’iz Ibn Malik came to see the Messenger of Allah (SAW) to purify himself from the sin of adultery that he committed. Then the Messenger of Allah (SAW) sent a person to his people to ask about the sanity of Ma’iz, but they told him that he was a sane and decent man. When Ma’iz Ibn Malik came for the fourth time to him, he ordered to make an execution hole for Ma’iz. Finally, he ordered people to execute the stoning punishment, and it was done.
Any Muslim found guilty of adultery is stoned to death irrespective of gender.
D. Islam supports honour killings.
This is among the most absurd allegations that have been made against Islam. Unlike other misconceptions where orientalists twist ayat and ahadith out of context, this particular allegation though like so many others enjoys no such privilege. No one has ever pointed out a verse of the Qur’an or hadith where this crime was condoned hence, the allegation is baseless.
In Islam, individuals are not allowed to carry out executions; executions have to be ordered by an established court of law.
Wa'il ibn Hujr narrated thus: While I was sitting in the company of Allah's Apostle (SAW), a person came there dragging another one with the help of a strap and said: Allah's Messenger, this man has killed my brother. Allah's Messenger (SAW) said to him: Did you kill him? And the other man said: In case he did not make a confession of this, I shall bring a witness against him. He (the murderer) said: Yes, I killed him. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Why did you kill him? He said: He and I were striking down the leaves of a tree and he abused me and enraged me, so I struck his head with an axe and killed him. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (SAW) said: Have you anything with you to pay blood-money on your behalf? He said: I do not possess any property but this robe of mine and this axe of mine. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Do you think your people will pay ransom for you? He said: I am more insignificant among my people than this (that I would not be able to obtain this benefit from my tribe). He (the Holy Prophet) threw the strap towards him (the claimant of the blood-money) saying: Take away your man. The man took him away, and as he returned, Allah's Messenger (SAW) said: If he kills him, he will be like him. He returned and said: Allah's Messenger, it has reached me that you said that "If he killed him, he would be like him." I caught hold of him according to your command. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (SAW) said: Don't you want him to take upon himself (the burden) of your sin and the sin of your companion (your brother)? He said: Allah's Apostle, why not? The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: If it is so, then let it be. He threw away the strap (around the offender) and set him free.
It should be asked here, why did the complainant not kill the culprit in the farm when he knew full well that the punishment for manslaughter was execution? Simple, he knew it was not in the spirit of Islam for individuals to carry out executions. Now we see that for any individual or group of individuals to kill a female relative out of their own volition for some wrong they think she has done is not sanctioned by Islam.
Irrespective of what it is called; honour killing, uxoricide, sororicide or matricide, we are still talking about the killing of women.
From global statistics, we observe that contrary to popular believe, Muslim women are not the most killed women in the world. According to American government reports, three women are killed by their husbands/boyfriends every day in America alone i.e. at least 90 women every month and 1080 every year, other sources have places higher figures. No Muslim nation has it that bad. According to IRIS Domestic Violence Center, 4 million women are battered each year in America and according to the FBI, a woman is battered every 15 seconds in America.
Even though most of the Muslim nations are not Sharia compliant, Islam instills in its followers kindness towards the women folk. Muhammad (SAW) said in his farewell pilgrimage, “O People, it is true that you have certain rights over your women, but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under God's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Treat your women well and be kind to them, for they are your partners and committed helpers”.
All these allegations being debunked, the next line of action is to acquiesce by accepting that it is a misconception to believe that Islam supports violence against women.
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