Sawda bint Zam'a: The Prophet's African Wife

Sawda

Her name is Sawdah bint Zam’a, her father was Zam’a ibn Qays  ibn Abdush-Shams ibn Abdi Widdi ibn Nasr ibn Malik ibn Hasl ibn Amir ibn Lu'ay (the Qurayshi) and her mother was Ash-Shamoos bint Qays ibn Zayd of Bani Adi ibn An-Najjar from Khazraj. 

Sawda bint Zam'a was born about 25 years before the Hijra and she was among the eight people of Banu Amir who left everything and migrated to Abyssinia for the sake of their religion. She was a simpatico tall and large black-skinned woman, with a jolly and affable disposition. 

She first married her cousin, as-Sakran ibn Amr, the brother of Suhail ibn Amr. From her husband, as-Sakran, she had one son, Abdur Rahman ibn Sakran, who was martyred in the Battle of Jalula in against the Persians in the reign of Umar ibn Khattab.

Sawda was an early convert to Islam and it was by her persuasion that her husband embraced Islam. On the second emigration to Abyssinia, Sawdah had accompanied her husband to escape the persecution of Quraysh and maintain their faith in Islam. 

Not long after they settled in Abyssinia and felt safe, they heard that the pagans had concluded a truce with the Muslims and agreed to let them practice their religion freely. The Muslims were very happy and decided to return to their homes. But when they reached Makkah, they were shocked by the awful reality. The pagans were bitterer in their enmity towards the Muslims than ever and their cruelty had attained new heights.

Sawdah's husband died on the way to Makkah and left her in a terrible state of destitution. After the death of Khadijah, the Sahaba felt the sorrow and grief of Muhammad (SAW) and they desired for him to marry and relieve himself from his solitude. 

When mourning period of Khadijah was over, Khawlah bint Hakeem, the wife of Uthman ibn Math'un, went to him and said: "O Prophet of Allah! I see you feel the loss of Khadijah."; "Yes," he said. "She was both mother and housewife". 

Khawlah suggested that he should marry and she offered to find him a bride. Muhammad (SAW) said, "Who could be that bride?" Khawlah suggested Aisha bint Abu Bakr. But Aisha was still very young so he got engaged to her and left her in her parent’s house till she matured. 

Khawlah and the other Companions didn't want a delayed marriage; they wanted someone to console and help him in take care of his children, especially in those days of hardship. Khawlah mentioned Sawdah bint Zam'a. 

Sawda was relatively old, wasn’t considered among the most beautiful of women and wasn’t from a wealthy family. Moreover her father and brother were still pagans at the time. Her brother, Malik bin Zama'a, later embraced Islam. 

At the mentioning of Sawda by Khawlah, the Prophet (SAW) asked Khawlah to propose on his behalf. Khawlah went to Sawdah and said: "Allah has blessed you, Prophet Muhammad sent me to ask for your hand". 

Sawdah was flummoxed and with trembling voice she said: “I love that, but go and ask my father.” When the father heard the news he was very happy and said: “This is a suitable match; Muhammad is an honorable and compatible person. Would you like me to wed you to him?" Sawdah replied with just one word, "Yes." 

Stories of the proposal spread around Makkah, many could not believe their ears. 'How could an old widow without beauty and wealth succeed the noble and beautiful Khadijah?' They thought. The Prophet (SAW) married Sawdah in Makkah in Ramadan in the tenth year of his Prophethood. It is believed that both Muhammad (SAW) and Sawda were 50 years old when they got married. 

From the beginning, Sawda knew that the Prophet (SAW) married her out of compassion and not out of desire and she knew that no one else could give her a more respectable shelter than the great Prophet (SAW). 

Prophet Muhammad (SAW) liked the remarks she sometimes made. Once she told him, “I have prayed standing behind you, O' Prophet of Allah, and you made me kneel so long that I held my nose fearing that it will bleed". The Prophet (SAW) laughed and Sawdah was very happy. 

Sawda remained in charge of the Prophet's house for three years till Aisha arrived. Then she gave her the first place and did her best to comfort and assist the young bride. Other wives with beauty, nobility and prestige came to the house of the Prophet (SAW) but, Sawdah did not hesitate to favor Aisha without showing any apathy for the other wives. 

When every wife settled in her own apartment, Sawdah felt she had no right to spend her night with Muhammad (SAW) since young and beautiful wives were now around. The Prophet (SAW) felt bad about her emotional deprivation and was kind enough not to mention anything that could hurt her feelings. 

The Prophet (SAW) suggested divorce to free her from her duties and spare her the pain. Sawdah was aghast at hearing this, she was silent for a moment then she summoned courage and said to him, "Keep me please; I am not a selfish wife, but I wish to see Allah recognizing me as your wife on the Day of Judgment". She added gently, "Keep me, O' Prophet of Allah, and I will donate my night to Aisha as I do not demand that which women desire". 

The Prophet (SAW) kept her in his house and treated her with honor, dignity and respect. 

When Sawda performed pilgrimage with the Prophet (SAW), he allowed her to precede the people to Muzdalifah because of her heavy weight and her age. Aisha said: "I wish I had asked the Prophet to allow me to go to Muzdalifah like Sawdah did, so that I could pray Fajr in Mina before the people arrive.” 

After the demise of Muhammad (SAW), Sawda received a gift of money, which she spent on charity. Muawiyah bin Abu Sufyan bought her house in Medina for 180,000 dirhams. Sawda, Aisha, Hafsa and Safiya always remained very close. 

Also, after the demise of the Prophet (SAW), Sawda vowed not to go for Hajj or Umrah. She said: "I have performed my Hajj and Umrah so now it is time to stay home as Allah commanded me.” She meant what Allah Says in the Qur'an: “And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as was the display of the former times of ignorance. And establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah intends only to remove from you the impurity of sin, O people of the Prophet's household, and to purify you with extensive purification.” Suratul Ahzab (33: 33)

Sawda bint Zam’a passed away in the reign of Mu`awiyah ibn Abu Sufiyan in 54 A.H. in Madinah. She is believed to have been around 80 years old at the time of her passing and she was the third to the last wife of Muhammad (SAW) to pass away.

Aisha mourned Sawdah and said: "No woman is more beloved to me than Sawdah, whose shoes I would rather be in than others." 

Aisha never forgot that Sawdah donated her night with the Prophet (SAW) to her.

The Mother of the Faithful, Sawda bint Zam’a was buried in the famous cemetery, Janatul al-Baqee, in Madinah. May Allah be pleased with her and may He please her.

LESSONS

• Zero Racism: Islam has zero tolerance for racism. Muhammad (SAW) married a black woman, Sawda bint Zam’a.
• Marriage proposals: It might not be out rightly called haram but, it is not the Islamic formula for men to propose directly to a woman. It is best to do this through a third party most suitably another woman or a relative of the woman. Muhammad (SAW) proposed to Sawda bint Zam’a through Khawlah bint Hakim.
• Noble Character: Sawda’s father, Zam’a, was not a Muslim at the time Muhammad (SAW) proposed to her yet, he was thrilled at the thought of being an in-law to the Prophet (SAW). Muhammad (SAW) had such a noble character that even disbelievers looked forward to having close ties with him.
• Compassion: Muhammad (SAW) was always thinking of ways to comfort his community and every single one of its members. He (SAW) heard of the poignant situation Sawda was in and he took it upon himself to bring her comfort by bringing her into his household.
• The Day of Judgment: The companions of Muhammad (SAW) always had their thoughts on their fate on the Day of Accountability. Sawda didn’t want to remain a wife of the Prophet (SAW) for worldly benefits; she cared about having an elevated status in the sight of Allah by being resurrected as one of the wives of Muhammad (SAW).